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First Impression: A beautiful reflective series of poems that serve as messages of solidarity to women and enlightenment to men.

Finding her being her book cover

In Finding Her Being Her: A Journey of Poems, the talented Nilam Patel presents a series of poetry celebrating women in three parts; Finding Her, Being Her, and Loving Her. Originally intended for her own healing and self-discovery, the book evolved into something bigger; a message to females, young and older, to inspire and offer empathy. Themes explored include ‘femininity, grief, relationships, self-love, and motherhood’ that embark on a journey that tells of the ‘complexities and beauty of womanhood.’

Finding this book a most pleasurable and inspiring read, I offer my gratitude to Nilam for gifting me with a copy of her work so that I might provide this honest review in exchange.

Upon opening, the book has a very ‘Eastern’ feel. From the start, it paints a stark difference between men and women, where the males pray, relax, study, and work, whilst the females clean, cook, serve, and sacrifice. It speaks of traditions that although still exist in the ‘West,’ are less noticeable among the younger generations and circumstances we take for granted.

Each poem remains nameless. One is never sure what they will quite stumble upon until they reach the end. It adds to the mystery of the content and satisfies the author’s desire to ‘provide a gateway to introspection, leaving readers lost in thought as they reflect on their experiences.’ Though the poems are short, they are impactful and lingering.

Amateur line drawings adorn the pages. They provide a personal feel as though looking into someone’s journal and reading their private thoughts unsolicited. Basic though they are, the doodles add slight color to what they accompany. They serve to form a bond with the author, a sisterhood as such amongst other women that may be reading and understanding these pages at the same time.

The world tricks us into thinking

we have to be busy to be successful;

that ambition can only be related to

a career or wealth.

Let’s accept ambition to also mean

a balancing act of all of our worlds

that includes the intangible luxuries

that most do not think they have control of;

a warm home,

a close family,

time for passions,

being mentally present for others,

or time to be with your own thoughts.

Know when to stop and just be,

rather than constantly

thinking about what is next.

You may have already achieved it,

only to continue walking past it.

Letting others define your goals

will only leave you

chasing after a dream

that was never yours.

Within her writing, Patel unveils words of wisdom that speak from the heart of someone that has more than lived, they have survived and offer up lessons so that others might avoid some of the common pitfalls she befell.

To be the woman you’ve

been searching for in all the wrong places,

you must first find her within.

There lives a sense of poignancy in the words that dance upon the page, yet there is no bitterness. Just Patel’s own quiet reflection, acceptance, and willingness for change, whilst encouraging others to heed her words if they can.

Of all the parts, Being Her is probably the most captivating. Dedicated to motherhood, these poems speak of the joys as well as the miscarriages and rainbow births that many have experienced. She speaks to the loneliness of pregnancies that have failed to come to full term, delivering the heartbreaking facts with gentle simplicity that calls a lump to the throat.

Whilst this book is marketed towards women, fathers, brothers, sons, boyfriends, husbands, pick up this book. As a female (used in the loosest sense), we know of our struggles and this book tells us that we are not alone with them. These poems are messages of solidarity to us, but they are a wealth of secrets you will never know, if you never ask. More than anything, these poems are for people out there that need to understand the fragility, sacrifice, strength, power, and determination of women out there that have learned to put themselves deservedly first.

Quick Rating: ⭐ ⭐⭐⭐⭐/ R

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